My dear friends and family members. Words finally came to me, so I wrote them. If you want to read them, please feel free to. If you want clarifications about anything, please message me.
Before I get to my actual post: I care about you all, I trust that you all thoughtfully arrived at your perspectives, and I’ve done my best to listen to everyone during this election cycle.
Mostly, though, I’m so tired of seeing all the fighting, chastisement, and blame.
I also really just want to safely wrap up (all cozy like in a blanket) all my friends and loved ones who have been or likely will be negatively affected by this election result and take care of you all and make it all better I’m here for you. This is not a happy result for me either.
I am disappointed.
I am also in a position where I don’t particularly need to fear for my life or the lives of my children because of the election results. After all, I’m a member of only one group that’s been explicitly targeted by Trump’s rhetoric and only one other group that’s been indirectly targeted by Trump’s rhetoric.
Many, nay most, of my loved ones are not so fortunate and they’re in the process of grieving for the rights they’re about to lose, the security they’ve already lost, and/or the realization that they aren’t particularly welcome in their own country and communities any longer and maybe haven’t been welcome there for a very long time.
The election result just happened about 48 hours ago. Expecting people whose very lives are endangered by an election’s results to just “get over it” or “stop letting their feelings control them” – especially this soon since the election happened – is the height of entitlement.
You’re happy about the results? Cool. Be happy then.
You’re meh, but okay about the results? Cool, be that way too.
You were devastated but got over it real quick? Awesome! But it’s not a race.
And for the love of all that is good and holy: Please let others have their time to grieve! Maybe listen to them to find out WHY they’re upset. I have not seen any “sour grapes” “sore losers” on my social media. Instead, I’ve seen people who are legitimately worried about their own lives or the lives of their loved ones.
Obviously I don’t know what’s on anyone else’s social media, but there are plenty of people out here who are hurting and scared and need time and support from the people they thought cared about them. Not to be chastised about how they’re handling it (or not).
And yes, some people are harming or threatening others in response and that’s not okay either. I’ve not seen anyone say it is.
I’ve spent this entire election cycle listening to people from all sides. There were valid concerns on ALL sides.
There are real live people represented on all sides.
Multidimensional people who are not a monolith along with the rest of the “left” or “right” or “independents” or “3rd party voters” or “people who stayed home” or whatever group with whom you disagree the most.
I’m quite sick and tired of the hatred and vitriol. I’ve mostly seen this coming from the Trump camp so that’s what I’m focusing on, although I’m well aware it’s a growing problem on (again) all sides.
Personally, I would love to see all sides listening more to actual people and less to the media. That the media has played a large and devastating role in this election is probably one of the only things about which I agree with Trump (and I’ve listened to his actual words, not media renditions).
I have very specific things to say to both sides before I sum up. I even color-coded them so you can see where the sections begin and end:
If you’re one of my loved ones who is devastated/scared by these results, regardless of whom you voted for (if you voted), then please take the time you need to grieve. I’m happy to listen and commiserate with you and support you in practical ways however you need me to and as far as I’m able.
I love you and am here to help in any way I possibly can, my friends and loved ones who stand to lose the most from these results. I’m sorely grieved by the outcome myself for many reasons and I can only personally hope that Trump remains a liar and won’t accomplish nearly as much as he’s promised.
If you voted for Trump, well, I’m going to trust that you had legitimate, non-hateful, reasons for doing so. I love you and care for you too, but my focus has to be on supporting my friends who are hurting right now.
If you’re one of the folks who’s upset about people calling you a racist because you voted for Donald Trump, please let me tell you something that might help:
Sometimes (often) people make incorrect inferences about others’ lives from the company they keep or the votes they make or the social media posts they post/like/share/comment on.
If you’ve been called a racist and people are incorrect about that assumption, then maybe it’s time to publicly and vocally stand up against the hurtful rhetoric that came along with the positive things you were voting FOR. Consider giving support (in whatever way you’re able – emotional support is totally free and can go a long way) to your friends who stand to lose the most during this presidential term. Show them that you really did just vote for Trump because you wanted better jobs for the middle class! Or whatever reason you actually had.
I’m speaking now specifically to those of us who have the means, support, ability, and (yes) privilege to actively listen to people from other sides and try to find solutions to fix the mess we’re all in:
Regardless of who you voted for, please use this time to get better at listening to your fellow Americans instead of watching/reading the media while surrounding yourself with people who largely share your demographics and viewpoints.
This polarization happened on all sides and important life-altering concerns from other groups of people were missed on all sides. And this is the result.
The last year has been an ugly, ugly time of polarization. Let’s please try to use this experience to do better in the future.