Talking About Josh Duggar = Re-victimizing

There’s an article going around right now that basically says everyone needs to stop talking about Josh Duggar’s past crimes because it’s revictimizing the girls he molested so many years ago. ***see note at bottom about the article***

Articles like that one are coming from a place of concern and I appreciate that very much because too few people have acknowledged the hurt of the women who survived this situation, BUT these articles also miss the point in a major way.

For me and for most of the people I’ve seen speak out against what happened it’s not about shaming the Duggars or reopening their wounds. It’s about shedding light on the increasingly common abhorrent beliefs about obedience, consent, and sexuality that create a perfect environment for sexual (and other) abuses to flourish and remain hidden within. Allowing these beliefs and abuses to remain hidden would be a travesty.

I agree, of course, that the survivors of Josh’s molestations have been revictimized by this news coming out the way it did. I am absolutely sickened that the world knows their identities, which should have been protected until or unless a time came when they wanted or felt able to tell their stories.

However, that ship has sailed. Even if every single person on the planet stopped talking about the Duggar scandal right NOW, those womens’ names are still out there. The damage is done.

In my opinion, the focus now needs to be on exposing the underlying questionable theology so that perhaps future victims might be spared the experience altogether. That perhaps past and future survivors might gain the actual help they need and not be thrown under the bus by victim-blaming sexual abuse “counseling” materials the way that these most recently discovered survivors almost certainly were.

I’m not still talking about this topic to “heap hate” on Josh or his parents. Nor am I “dancing with glee” that the Duggars have been “brought down.” Actually, I’ve felt quite ill about the entire thing ever since it came out, in addition to being rather upset and baffled by all the people who continue to defend and minimize what happened initially and how it was handled in the aftermath.

I do have hope that people will start to examine the theology behind the Duggars and Gothard now that yet another story has come out of that camp. I have hope that enough Christians will listen to abuse victims/survivors; stand behind them and tell them that that what was done to them was NOT their fault in any way! I have hope that we can move forward and learn how to handle the issue of sexual abuse in constructive ways in our churches and through our legal system.

This issue is not going away and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

***note*** I don’t plan to directly link to the “revictimization” article in question. I find it both hypocritical and distasteful that they use the names and photos of the women involved, in a post about how those women are being revictimized, thus letting everyone who didn’t already know their identities know exactly who they are. Blatantly outing the abuse survivors yet again in order to have a sensationalistic “click-bait” title is utterly inappropriate in a post telling everyone else to stop talking about them.

This other article is linked above, but I wanted to say a bit more about it as well. It was written by a lawyer who actually trained at Gothard’s law school and was involved in Gothardism for a while (is not any longer, of course). He’s not excusing Josh’s actions – but he does an excellent job of outlining how their beliefs can set the stage for this to happen.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: A Voice For The Victims | Why Not Train A Child?
  2. Trackback: The Duggars – My Thoughts | Hope Wears Heels

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